Witty Words - and not even mine!

With these lovely summer days, I am sure the world will do very nicely thank you without a long blog posting from Moi.  So today I am compiling a few words of wit, accidental or otherwise, from some of my favorite witty people or at least some people, favorite or otherwise, who have spoken some of my favorite witty words. 

I hope these funnies will give you all a chuckle as you lounge under a palm tree/ by the sea/lake/river/in the garden/sit on a crowded hot bus/ fight with the mosquitoes/feel awfully uncomfortable in your ´a little too tight´ Unterhose und so weiter. Or as you English speakers say might say ´underpants and so on´.

  

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
Oscar Wilde

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde 

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde

True friends stab you in the front.
Oscar Wilde

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it... I can resist everything but temptation.

Oscar Wilde

I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Oscar Wilde

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
Oscar Wilde

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain 

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Mark Twain 

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain 

The quotes from Messrs. Twain and Wilde above are taken from Brainy Quote -  always a good source for witty words of wisdom.     http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/o/oscar_wilde_2.html

Why ruin a good story with the truth

Chubby Brennen

This variation on Mr. Twain´s quote above was uttered by the self same Chubby Brennan who is a head honcho associated with the world famous (in some places) Wellie Race in Castlecomer, Co. Kilkenny

I don´t need to exercise – my two brothers do enough for the three of us.

Thomas Crotty - brother

                   

And the best source for wisdom and wit – children.

The following quotes come from letters written to God from children in the Homework Club, St. Canice´s, Kilkenny.

 Dear God, In bible times, did they really talk that fancy? 

 Jennifer

Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church.  Is that O.K.?` 

 Niel

Dear God, I think the staple is one of your greatest inventions. 
Ruth M.

Dear God, I am American.  What are you?  

Robert

Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
Joyce

Dear God, I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world.  There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
Nan

I hope you are having a wonderful summer, where ever you are reading this.