If your new year´s resolutions are doing wonderfully and you are still fully on track with all you resolved to do one whole week into the new year. Great. Good work and read no further.
If you are teetering off the wagon however, consider working backwards. That is to say, don´t worry too much about your resolutions for this new year, rather think backwards, looking back on the big picture of your life as lived. Are you living your best life?
Oprah, Dr. Phil and myself are big into encouraging
people to ´live their best lives´as Oprah so succinctly puts it - grant it
Oprah and Dr. Phil have a tad more success at reaching the masses than I.
But, I will not be
swayed from my task; Hausfrau Róisín is here at the start of 2014 to advise Irish Stew for the
Soul blog readers how to get back on
that wagon - to go out there and live the life they want to live.
Yes, I
KNOW there are all sorts of reasons one can give for staying in a life
situation you don´t like. If none of them are around ´putting food on the table for my children´,
then the reasons are NOT good enough for not going out there and living the
life you want to live. Even ´putting
food on the table for the kids´ is not a deal breaker.To find out the best way to live the life you want. AND to find what it is you want to do in said life in the first place you can:
a)
Watch a lot of re-runs of the Oprah Show or Dr. Phil´s shows
-
not a bad option, but could be time consuming.
b)
Spend a fortune on self help books and tapes,
- not a
great option, time consuming and expensive.
c) Become an expert in the major world religions and
see what they have to say about living life.
- while a noble option, not ideal seeing as it would
take more than one life time to really learn what the major religions of the
world have to say on the subject. (Hindus have the advantage on the rest of us
here what with reincarnation and all.)
The best way, to discover how to live the life you want, according to moi is: simply…
d)
Go back to Bed! - Definitely
the best option.
No, I am not telling you to go to bed to mope and
feast on Smarties and drown one´s sorrow´s in Barry´s tea. (Full
disclosure: One admit´s to having been known to resorting to this practice occasionally
through out life - but NEVER for more
than 3 days. Honest!)
Nor am I saying to go back to bed for a
little private or shared hankie pankie. -
Nothing wrong with either I hasten to add, but another time please.
No, simply
lie in bed and imagine ....... you are about to die.
Ah ah
caught you there did n´t I!
Once you have gotten over the discomfort of the idea
that you are about to die, just lie there imagining you are on your death bed
and let your thoughts flow and see what observations come up.
Review the
life you have lived. What are you proud of in your life? What would you change?
What are your regrets? What other questions and considerations pop
up?
And most importantly, for most of you reading this, (even moi admits reading this blog is not the most vital thing to be
doing on death´s door); most, if not all of you dear readers are not
going to die today. You have another chance …
SO GET UP OUT OF THAT BED AND START MAKING THE CHANGES - NOW.
Right now. Get up and start to put yourself on track for living the life you want to live, with no (further) regrets to be regretted when you really are going to die.
SO GET UP OUT OF THAT BED AND START MAKING THE CHANGES - NOW.
Right now. Get up and start to put yourself on track for living the life you want to live, with no (further) regrets to be regretted when you really are going to die.
I know a
lot of people are going to feel weird or creepy when pondering their own death.
Well work on that too. It will come you know!
It may take a couple of attempts to get your head around contemplating the whole ´dead´thing. But if you really want to have
a different way of living your life, it is worth the effort to ponder your death.
This is real folks. As far as we know we only live once, again the Hindus have an advantage. But the rest of us really should not be waiting around to make those changes.
This is real folks. As far as we know we only live once, again the Hindus have an advantage. But the rest of us really should not be waiting around to make those changes.
To support my case further I am copying a piece here from
a book by Bronnie Ware The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.* The English Guardian newspaper wrote an
article based on the main theme of the book. - See the article and link at end
of this blog posting.
So. Back to my first idea about your new year´s resolutions..
If you are having trouble sticking to your new year´s
resolution, ask yourself:
`On my death bed
would this new year´s resolution be at all relevant?´
If not, why the heck are you bothering?
If the resolution would be relevant on your death bed,
then why can´t you stick to it? You, gentle reader, have the rest of your life to
answer.
Well after all that I think I need a good strong cup of Barrys tea - and whatever you´re having yourself!
------------------------------------------
Well after all that I think I need a good strong cup of Barrys tea - and whatever you´re having yourself!
------------------------------------------
*Bronnie
Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care,
caring for patients in the last weeks of their lives ... she put her observations into a book
called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
Ms. Ware
writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their
lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about
any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says,
"common themes surfaced again and again."
Here are
the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:
1.
I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others
expected of me.
"This
was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is
almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have
gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and
had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."
2.
I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This
came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth
and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most
were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been
breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of
their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."
3.
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many
people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a
result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were
truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness
and resentment they carried as a result."
4.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often
they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying
weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so
caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over
the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time
and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are
dying."
5.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This
is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness
is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called
'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their
physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their
selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly
and have silliness in their life again."
This piece
was originally printed in the Guardian:
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