Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Get Ready for the Exit.... Again!

A regular blog reader requested this posting .... again.  So here it is - again.  Happy planning!
 
Getting ready for the exit....

That could be a C & W song title.  But it is not.  It is about.... well...  life after you...

This is a repeat posting.   But, I have a bee in my bonnet about the topic,  that is why I am doing a repeat here; the older I get the more messes I hear about when people don´t leave their affairs in order.   Messes they leave for others still living I mean!    

So, for those who have been there done that, give yourself a clap on the back and enjoy the photos which I am  adding to the post.  Photos with absolutely no connection to this topic at all - Kilkenny during the winter flooding.   I will put the photos along side the blog posting - just to encourage others to read the posting.


Five Things You can Do to Prepare Your Family for Life-after-You.
One of the best things you can do for your loved ones is to prepare their way for life-after-you!  - Which will, hopefully, be an event that happens way into the future.  The holidays are over, the weather is not good for going out and about, so there is no excuse not to start getting things in order - NOW.
If all is in hand and done and dusted, great.  Take a moment to gloat at your own efficiency and fabulousness and read no further.   If not, and you don´t want to think about it, well go down to the end and read the horror stories about things that resulted when people did not prepare properly for the exit.  

Heck it you know you won´t follow up on this, you should read the horror stories anyway, they are an interesting read, even if not for you, dear reader, a motivator.
 
Five things you can do to prepare your Family for Life-after-You 

1)                Write a living will.
A living will gives instructions of how you want to be cared for should you become seriously ill, or suffer a very bad accident.
For example, do you want to be resuscitated if you stop breathing etc? No right or wrong answer here, only your answer. And nobody can answer that for you only you. 
 Make sure at least one person knows what you have written in your living will, and, where the living will is kept.  When you fall ill, it is no good to you having all this info. in the bank vault with your will.   No one will be reading all that stuff until you are dead.

2) Designate someone(s) as your Power of Attorney.
This person makes important financial and other decisions for you when you no longer can.  Think this one through carefully: If you have not designated a POA, next of kin gets the job. And what if next of kin is an alcoholic/drug dependent compulsive gambler/shopper?  Same problem if you chose the wrong designate obviously.

3)      Write a will – and write it ´right`.
Someone once said: a will is one of the most important documents you will ever write, and it will have absolutely no consequence to you at all.  True.  I strongly advise you get a legal professional to review your will to make sure it is in order.  It will be a right mess if it is not.  Getting legal advice to assist in writing a simple will is not expensive in most jurisdictions where such things matter; and for the peace of mind alone it is money well spent.

4)      Sort out your affairs.
There was a time in my innocence I thought that meant you made sure your checking account was not overdrawn, that you owed no taxes, or had no other debts outstanding etc.   This is all good, indeed excellent, and should be done in tandem with writing a will etc.
Regarding sorting out your affairs however, I now know better:
Are/were there any secret relationships?  Any offspring as a result of said relationships?  Ditto after one night stands?
Any other matters (…secret lives, debts …) that may crop up to shock your loved ones after you die?  Deal with it now or it could all come out at the grave side, as you can read later.  Not pretty for anyone. 

5)      Funeral Wishes/Burial Wishes.
Burned or buried?  Your decision.
This is really a no brainer, the best way to have the funeral you want is to plan it all yourself when you still can.  At the very least be sure family know if and where you want to be buried, or cremated.  No point in having all that information stored with your will, which won´t be read until you are dead and buried.
                             -----------------------------------------------
And so to the motivating horror stories.  All true

Horror story 1: Living Will.
Man wrote in living will that he did not want to be resuscitated if it meant he would not have the chance of a good quality life after resuscitation.  He left the document in a book by the bed. Told no one.  Ended up in hospital with an emergency.  Nurse resuscitated him when he stopped breathing.  He survived and survived and survived for three more years, no quality of life and all the inheritance was used up on medical bills.
-     Some months after he had gone into hospital, his wife found the book with the living will in it by his bedside…

Horror Story 2:
Mis-Designated Power of Attorney.
Widower had no PoA, no lawyer, nothing.  He had instead three different bank accounts, each of which he and one of his offspring were the named account holders.  That way, he thought, each would have an inheritance on his death.  When he became mentally feeble the bank advised he needed a PoA.   Bossy daughter insisted she get the job, the other two siblings were loath to intervene, fearing their motives would be misconstrued.
Widowed father died; a year later bossy daughter died. It then came to light said bossy daughter had been siphoning off money from the siblings accounts.  What she did not use herself she left to her children.  That is to say bossy sister´s children got anything that was left and bossy sister´s siblings got nothing. And this was all perfectly legal.

Horror Story 3:  Write a will – right.
Man wrote will at kitchen table simply.
`All my possessions should be sold and the money should be divided equally between my family members`. 
He got his mother to witness and sign the document. He died childless.  And it was a mess.
Two big problems after his premature dead.
a)   He never clarified who family was, i.e. his partner, his siblings, his first cousins…
b)    It is a law in just about every country that a signatory can never benefit from the contents of a will.  Thus his mother was not eligible for anything.
Full disclosure, even writing a will correctly is no guarantee that all will run smoothly.  The inheritors can mess it all up too, but at least if you write your will correctly, you will have done your bit!
Horror Story 3a:  Write a will – right.
This story is in the public domain, but worth sharing none the less. Marilyn Monroe willed all her worldly goods to a photographer with whom she had worked, saying something like:
´Dear X, please share all my belongings amongst those who were important to me.  And you know who they are
But Mr. X did not do that, he stored it all in his attic.  He died, his wife died, and no doubt in the meantime all those ´who were important to Miss Monroe´ had likely died by this time as well. So on the death of the photographer’s wife, her heirs sold all Marilyn Monroe´s stuff and made a fortune.

Horror Story 3b:  Not Writing a Will.
Titled gentleman of means went through four wives and had two step sons and a daughter.  His fourth and last wife was a lot younger than him.  Neither she nor titled gentleman had a will. Titled gentleman got ill, young wifey got ill.  Titled gentleman died, everything went to the young wifey clearly as she was his legal next of kin.  
Thirty four days later young wifey died.  See what happened here:  If a next of kin lives longer than 31 days after they receive an inheritance it is a valid inheritance.  And young wify´s  next of kin, in this case her only brother `Howard`, then came into her inheritance,.  So ´Howard`, a man that had absolutely no relationship to titled gentleman not six weeks earlier, received all the titled gentleman´s property after the premature death of titled gentleman´s young wife. -   Save the title which died with said titled gentleman. 

Horror Story 3c:  Writing a Will that was good - thirty years ago!
Pair had two sons; one bright and focused, he went on to become a doctor.  Other son was ´a bit not too fond of work`; clearly he had inherited Uncle Joe´s black sheep genes, and said son was unlikely to make anything of himself so his parents thought. The parents decided, therefore, to leave the bulk of their estate to the ´ne´er do well´ son, fearing he would not have enough to support his elder years.    
 
Fast forward 30 years.  So you can see where this is going again:  Both parents are now dead, the ne ´er do well son got on his feet, and became a very successful business man.  The bright, successful hard working diligent ´doctor son´ was sued for medical malpractice.  He lost everything clearing his good name. 
 
Horror Story 4 - Sort out your affairs.
This story was told to me by the sister of the deceased who witnessed the whole thing.  At the graveside, just after the burial, a woman unknown to the family approached the decease´s wife, introduced herself and said that the deceased was the father of her two children, 10, and 7.  And that she was there to put in a claim on the inheritance on behalf of the children.
The sister said one of the kids looked so like her deceased brother that it was clear the woman was not lying.  And no one had had a clue.  The deceased´s family were feeling a lot less loving about the just buried, particularly as they had just spent a small fortune giving him the big funeral, fancy coffin etc they felt he deserved!  Clearly good money thrown away, or good money thrown into the grave, to be more accurate in this instance.


Horror Story 4 - Funeral Wishes/Burial Wishes.
A man left specific instructions that he wanted to be buried in the next parish, not in the family grave in his home parish.  – He wrote this nice and clearly – in his will.  Which of course was not read until after the funeral and burial in his home parish. 
(This sad episode was written about in the newspapers, whereby one poor devastated sibling went down the night of the funeral and tried to dig up the remains and move them to the other grave yard.)
                   ------------------------------
So there you have it, the low down on being ´lowered down!!!  
Now that that is all done and dusted, you can start on your bucket list. -
Happy Planning!

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

An Update on Preparations of the St. Patricks Wellie Race up the Alps....

Dear Chubby,

Well another good wellie race behind you in Castlecomer on January 1st last, with no major regrets I hope. - Except that dastardly lot of regrets that turn up every year.  And no doubt you collected €000´s for charities to boot.  
You lads are truly outstanding in your field.  I hope the committee took stock -  and a few of whatever-you-are-having-yourself to celebrate.  You deserve it.

I am glad to report that the preparations are going forward with no undue stress or surprises for the
 
Great St. Patrick’s´ Day Wellie Race up the Alps.

 When:  Sunday March 12th at 1:00 p.m. (ish)

Where:  Kretz Dairy Farm, Moos, St. Gallen
             End time:  5:00 p.m.  (There are, after all, cows that have to be milked.)

So for those wellie race aficionados who cannot wait for another whole year to run around in freezing weather in their wellies - you are more than welcome to freeze along with us.... 
And you can join us for soup, cáca milis and a little céilí dancing afterwards to thaw the toes out. 
Our expectations this year are rather low; after the -10o we experienced for the race last year, we just hope everyone gets home alive. To that end we have on hand the Knights of Malta, the local branch of the Red Cross and the local Volunteer Fire Fighters.  So we are covered should anyone decide on a ´little theatrics´ en-route.

In addition if we can fit enough wads in the brown envelope, who knows the local Fastnacht group may come by in their costumes and make music as we run.  – Fastnacht in these parts is like Mardi Gras in Rio de Janerio – only with clothes on!

So, if anyone knows anyone who lives in the St. Gallen area of Switzerland or near Lake Konstanz in the Swiss-Germany border area, that would love to run up the Alps with us in their wellies, they can contact me at my blog site:  Irish Stew for the Soul.  – Sorry Facebook banned me, ´cos they wanted proof ´Hausfrau Róisín´ was a real live person. 
In the meantime we wellie racing enthusiasts are doing our morning wellie training runs.  Up before the sun we are.

That´s it for now, more before ´le big day´ I am sure. 


…. Now the matter of the Taytoes for the prize winners…. That is still an open question.
 Liebe Grüße Hausfrau Róisín. (Or, as you non- German speakers might say.... love...)

P.S. A suggestion Chubby.  It would be nice on your Facebook page to have a graph or a map showing where wellie races around the world connected to the Castlecomer wellie race have sprouted up.  I am sure some high tech or indeed low tech genius could put that together for you, well for a decent packed brown envelope anyway!