So there I was washing the condiment shelf.....

.... I said CONDIMENT shelf!

And truth be told I was feeling far too good about myself for this Martha Stewart-esque moment in the life and times of my kitchen.  Really a 50 something anyone should not be feeling so superior for simply cleaning off a `few´particals of dust.  But there you are and there I was.

Well as I was working away, there did n´t I have some insights of absolutely non-world shattering importance, again.  Which, of course, I will share with you today.

It occurred to me as I was coughing and spluttering through the ´few`spice infused dust particles, that there are many ´wisdoms´or ´truisms´that I happen to think are not true at all.  I am not sure who was the first person to say these things, but they are out in the public domain now, and I happen not to agree with them.

For example:

1) Be in the Moment

Now that is all very fine if the moment you are in is one where you are  lying on a beach in sunny climes, or cycling through some bucolic area around Lake Konstanz - which is just about everywhere in the area.  Or, tucked up on bed with a nice cup of Barry's Tea and Smarties.  Or perhaps you may be fortunate enough to be  looking with pride and joy at your wonderful children who sit there for hours amusing themselves painting, reading, or trying out experiments from `Science for Kids´or some such titled book. Maybe even a few of said kids are out hurling and it looks likely they will be picked for the under 21´s for the county team.

Conversely, you may sitting a top a bunk bed somewhere in Thailand on a trek around the world.  There you sit pondering how wonderful your parents are because they told you they did not mind what you did when you grew up, as long as you were happy. And they meant it.

But it is a heck of a lot harder to ´be in the moment´say if you don´t have enough money to pay the bills, never mind thinking about  about paying for a holiday in sunny climes, or a trek around the world.  Or again, you are in pain, or someone you love is very sick. I don´t want to make you dear ISS reader depressed, so I won´t go on.  But, you get the idea.

In short: It is very easy to ´be in the moment´ when the moment you happen to be in is a nice one indeed. But who wants to ´be´in any moment that is far from fun.

2a) ...Just be yourself!

When people are nervous over this or that planned social or professional event, kind advisers often suggest.... `just be yourself`.  Being yourself is all well and good with total strangers; there is even an argument to be made for being one´s self at an interview.  You may well not get the job because of you being your loud, opinionated/boring, quite/ boorish/flirtatious or whatever self.  But at least if you are yourself at the interview, they can´t complain they got a surprise the first day you started the job.  

But this being yourself business is very suspect in my mind. I for one totally reject it in the realm of family life for example.  That is if one wants to stay connected with said family.  

Here is a classic case, and a true case.  Two brothers, one a diehard Republican, the other a Democrat. Now if both were to ´be themselves´ at family events, the family would be totally torn apart.  

And we are not just talking about differing values; there is the issue of differing temperaments - the talky sibling in a family otherwise tending towards less conversational inclinations.

And take the situation of the tidy spouse who fell in love with an ´artistically inclined tidy-upper ´partner.  Now if both parties in this union insisted on being themselves thus rendering the home not feeling at all like home for one or other party, this union would be doomed to fail.  Unless of course both parties strive very hard not to be themselves; the former trying to be less orderly and the latter cleaning up a bit more as they go.  Not of course that I would know anything about this on a personal level. Of course.

2b) You are good enough.  Different but connected to 2a.

This is one that my friend Oprah often says (Oh O.K., Oprah is not my friend, it would be dead cool if she was; most of the time I happen to agree with most of what she says, but not on this occasion.   Sorry Oprah, if you happen to be reading this.)

So back to the statement `You are good enough`.  Nelson Mandela was good enough.  Mother Theresa was good enough, the charming neighbour who helps every one is indeed good enough.  But in my mind, no, most of us are not good enough.  - And I wager those closest to the aforementioned might opine that the aforementioned truly amazing and good enough members of the human race, had moments indeed when they too were a tad less than `good enough´.

To continue on the same theme; I know life might be better in some quarters if this blog writer spent more time washing the condiment and other shelves more often, rather than writing this blog.  And forget the ordinary folks such as moi and my less that ´good enough´self; people with an inclination to do bad things to others, like to their own kids - or to their own parents,  are certainly not good enough.  Again to avoid depressing you dear reader, I don´t offer specifics on what is not good enough or who is not good enough, you get the idea.  And if you do consider it, I am sure you too  will  agree that there are a LOT of people out there who are indeed not ´good enough`.

3) Don´t sweat the small stuff .... and its all small stuff!  

I am sorry, but in my mind it is not all small stuff at all, and yes, I DO stress it: I have stressed about money, I have stressed when I  have had to confront someone say in a work situation, I have stressed about making the right life choices, or if the lasagna that I have spend hours preparing will actually taste something like lasagna - even though Jamie Oliver said it was a ´simple´lasagne.  http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/beef-recipes/simple-baked-lasagna.

So yes, I do stress and no it is not all small stuff.  -  O.K. maybe the lasagna question is a bit on the ´small stuff´ side.

4) The first million is the hardest to make.

I absolutely totally disagree!  The first $10,000 is the hardest to make!

Now for those who are blessed to have been born into millions, or even only one million, skip over this one; the rest of you can read on.

In my mind if one starts at $0:00,or worst with - $0.00, one might with scrimping and saving and plain hard work eventually  make $5,000.  And then with great good fortune and a lot of patience, perhaps even $10,000 etc.  But for the most part, and for many people life happens; one loses a job, gets sick, or a family member gets sick etc. Then bang, your hard saved savings are gone.

So, its not making the first million that is the hardest, in my opinion, the real challenge is being able to save enough dollars to get over the next life crises that comes one´s way, and still have some funds remaining.

In my mind it is for some that if they can reach the first $10,000 and hold onto it, it is realistic to consider in the course of their lives that they can, with an understanding of how money works, making the right life choices,  discipline and most important plain good luck, make their first million.

And then the second million should be a relative breeze to make - or lose!

5) Nothing to Fear but Fear itself.

Another one of Oprah´s truisms that I  disagree with, sorry Oprah.  I think there are a lot of things that sane minded people fear.  Even the insane.  For example not having enough $$$ to put food on the table or a roof over your head.  Or, somehow being put out of commission as a parent before the kids have grown up.  Or pain.  For me its death I can take or leave, (rather later than earlier,) but pain I really fear.  This is only a personal opinion; far more noble and responsible people might consider other things that one should be fearful of.  Which or whether, there is indeed a lot more things to fear other than fear itself.

6) March to your own drum/take the path less used.

This one makes me laugh!

Two versions of the same idea. i.e. do it your own way. Take the path less used for example.  Why for goodness sake would one take the path less used in life; the less used path has been tried and has been proven not to be the easier path.  I do not mean to follow slavishly what others do, or the paths they take. But PLEASE people consider why the less used path is so. That is what I say.

If the less used path really is going to get you where you want to go... and indeed it might; at least taking a detour on a section of the less used path of life  might indeed be viable for some, than I say `Go for it! It worked for Bill Gates, Oprah, the U2 band members, Irish boxer and Olympian gold medalist Katie Taylor and a few others.    But for the rest of us humans I say don´t look down one´s nose at the well trodden path in life.

Any regrets?  Not a truism, but bare with me.

Do you ever sit in front of a T.V. and watch someone talking who has had a terrible life or a horrendous experience or whatever, all of which they have survived.  And the interviewer asks them if they have any regrets, and they answer ´Oh no, the experiences I have had in my life made me the person who I am today.` Does it not occur to any of these people that they might have been absolutely wonderful people even without those horrendous experiences.

I tell you, I have a whole long list of experiences that I regret having had all lined up to read out if I am ever going to be asked on T.V. if I have any regrets.

The Apple does not fall far from the Tree

Meaning of course that children grow up to be just like their parents.

This is the oddity in this list in so far as it can be so true that it is amazing, and sometimes so un-true that the mind boggles.  If it was true: then all the great Olympians, Noble prize winners, artists, iconic world figures good and bad etc would all be related to the people in that field that came before them.  Similarly and on a more personal level; as I write I am thinking of two of the most gentle, fun, charming men I know who are the sons of men who beat then so badly, that the fathers should have gone to prison. That the sons are such nice members of the human race is amazing and it is a credit to themselves utterly.  In those two cases the apples indeed fell very far from the tree.

There are two exceptions re. the apples landing in the proimity of the tree, i.e. child follows parent: hurlers and camogie players in Kilkenny, where the same family names keep popping up again and again: Larkin, Walsh and Dowling come to mind.

And of course politicians can come by the family load, but let´s not beat around the bush here, that is more often down to nepotism rather than competency.

So on the weekend that´s in it as I bask in the glow of my dust free condiment shelves, may I wish you a wonderful, fun and happy St. Patrick´s Day this coming Monday.

A report on the Valentine´s Wellie Boot Race in Switzerland, the Heart of Europe.

A Race with  a View: Canadian wellie racer Dave Willhms took the great shot below.

...So now you can see the amazing view of the Säntis Mountain in the Alps we enjoyed as we raced around in our wellies on a dairy farm in Moos, St. Gallan.
(If you don´t know what I am talking about, go back to the blog posting in late Janary, where you can read all about the prepations for the Valentine Wellie Race in the heart of Europe.)

Olympic medals are all very fine.  But, if you really want to get the best out of wellie race participants – just hang out the big bag of Taytos.  – That will be sure to get them running at top speeds.

And they´re off!

Enough with The 6 Nations Championship - We had 7 nations represented out at the wellie race starting line, some of whom are shown here. They represent: Canada, China, Germany, Ireland, Italy, Pakistan Switzerland.

A young Clare representative below proudly carries the flag on her buggy.  She is flanked by 3 yr old Italien Roberto who runs bravely into the wind to over take the flag carrying buggy baby.

Now your one in the nice red jacket above looks all fine and innocent and what not, but I don´t know; security was so busy looking after the Taytos, that no one noticed when she was no sooner past the finishing line, that she disappeared – and so did the whole box of Barrys Tea!

Swiss dairy farmer Guido can put on a Kilkenny Team shirt, but it won´t make a cat out of him. 

Clare born wife Ann with the  Swiss flag behind him appears to agree.

An exciting moment....
Lining up for the prize giving.

Andrew from Canada was the first home, not bad for a 12 year old competing against men in their wellies.

Sister Naomi, 9,  on the right, also won a bag of Taytos.  Participants came from places as diverse as: Canada, Ireland, Italy, China and Switzerland, but all had fun in their wellies munching on their bag a´Taytos.

Triumph!

Clearly the weeks of practice running up and down the Alps in her wellies paid off, as a glowing Mary proudly holds up her bag of Taytos.  

Happily sister Martina earned a bag of Taytos too after coming in second.

                 



The first time…

Roberto´s endurance paid off!  He got his Taytos.

See here where he savors the anticipation of opening his very first bag of Tatyos ever.

It´s amazing what you can get away with when you look this cute and innocent; no one checked under my blanket… and I have no wellies on.  Tee hee hee! 

First Class Service.

We are the only wellie race in the whole world where there is first class after care service:

All wellies are cleaned and polished and ready for the Disco next Saturday night!

Alice and several of her sisters and cousins came out of their barn to have a look at us running.  

Guido, Swiss dairy farmer and Kilkenny man wanna be, had to give them an extra feed; looking at all that activity on a cold winters day in the Alps makes a cow hungry!

Thanks to Guido´s wife Ann we humans got very well fed too!

Now to those that don´t know better, the following pictures may look like there are a lot of people who don´t know whether they are coming or going, and they keep running circles around each other not getting there either. But, of course we in Ireland know that to be...

...the Siege of Ennis!

Yes, it being a Valentine´s Wellie Race, what better to celebrate the day of romance, than dancing the Siege.  In wellies of course!

And  I am sure you will agree it is not a bad turn at all - especially when you consider only two people dancing here had ever danced the Siege of Ennis before.

The dancing ended with a ´Dance around the Broom` from mother daughter duo Ann and Mary.  A dance better known in West Clare than in Moos - until now that is.  

The afternoon ended with a presentation to Guido and Ann Kretz for their warm welcome to us.  

Not to mention the great hearty meal fit for a hoard of Alpine Wellie Racers.  

And a diverse lot of wellie racers we were too coming from as far a field as Italy, Germany, Switzerland, Canada, Kilkenny and all the way from Clare there was Helen and Kevin and their three under 3 God bless them!

A great day was had by humans - and cows alike!

So, as we all headed off home to nurse our blisters and have a nap, Guido and Ann did what all good dairy farmers do at 5:00 p.m.   

They went off to milk the cows!

P.S.  Dave from Canada was on hand with his camera.  You can link to his photos and videos here:  https://picasaweb.google.com/116376007226199828239/WellieRacing?authkey=Gv1sRgCIWTgP-E0_jVRg

If this does n´t give you a laugh - you have a coffee on me!

For any one who experiences `after New Year´s blue´s` these witty words are a certain pick me up.   A cuppa on me if you don´t get a laugh with this one.....  My thanks to Dana who sent me the following.  Church Ladies With Typewriters  They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:   The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. --------------------------   Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. -------------------------- The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water. ‘The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.' -------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. --------------------------   Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. -------------------------- Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. -------------------------- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. -------------------------- Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get. -------------------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. -------------------------- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.. -------------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.--------------------------   Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. --------------------------   Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.. -------------------------- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. --------------------------   Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. -------------------------- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. -------------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -------------------------- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. -------------------------- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door. --------------------------   The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. -------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. -------------------------- And this one just about sums them all up: The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

Update on Preparations for the Valentine´s Wellie Race in the Heart of Europe

See below a letter to the Wellie Race aficionados in Casltecomer Co. Kilkenny, giving them an update on the preparations for the Valentine´s Wellie Race to be run next month in St. Gallen, Switzerland - the heart of Europe!  

                                    ------------------------------------------

Dear Chubby,

Here I am with an update on preparations for the Valentine Wellie Race which will take place on the Kretz farm in Moos, St. Gallen.  (Yes, Guido Kretz is a real live dairy farmer in Moos, St. Gallen Switzerland.)

But first I offer you and all the Castlecomer wellie race organizers hearty congratulations.   You really put the boot in, and it worked; I hear you had a great day with more than 10,000 visitors, and that €000´s were collected for charity.  And, as usual the Major Regrets did much to be regretted.  I understand too there were a few horses dressed in beef´s clothing. 

But now to news of the Valentine Wellie Race due to be run at the heart of Europe on February 9^th.  To remind you; when I could find nowhere to run a wellie race in Germany, and no one to race with either, did n´t Guido Kretz and his Clare born wife Ann Broogy come to the rescue of me and my wellies.  Guido and Ann very kindly offered that we could have a wellie race on their farm, if they and their two daughters all got a bag of Taytos even if they don´t win the race.  After some consideration, I thought that was a fair enough deal.

So, preparations are afoot.  True, we cannot hope to compete with the Castlecomer Wellie Race on the numbers.  But, we can surely give you a run for your money with variety!  We have a contingent from Canada who will participate,  that shower are taking things very serious indeed, they are all coming with TWO pairs of wellies -  each.  I am really worried that they plan to scoop up all the prizes leaving no Taytos for anyone else.  (Note to self: hide a few bags of Tayto Crisps for self before the Canadians arrive.) 

And then we have the Schillings from Budapest, aka Ms. Moneypenny Sr. and Ms. Moneypenny Jr.  They are trying to give the ol´? ´we have no wellies, why can´t we just run in our high powered fuel injected runners instead? ` line.  But we sorted them alright; we found wellies for them - three sizes too big!

We had a group too with connections to Donegal, and the Island of Reichenau in Lake Konstanz, where Irish monks were ´doing their thing´ for over 400 years.  So you would think that mix would certainly sound promising in relation to wellie racing.  But alas it looks as if they have no lead in their wellies; they said they were so sorry, that they could not come for the Wellie Race planned earlier.  But, when I contacted them to tell them the Wellie Race was up and running once more for Valentine´s, they just disappeared, not to be found anywhere.  Sissys! 

But we have better luck with a (sort of) big contingent coming in from Clare. Their coming was all a bit up in the air at first, or more precisely not getting into the air might be more to the point.  They were supposed to catch a flight here a few weeks ago, but they got a flat on the way to the airport.  Someone was kind enough to give them a pump, but it did not help.  The whole family, their luggage, AND their wellies was just too much for the bike. As you know from my last report, because the weather was too cold, the Swiss Dept. of Health and Safety in the Work Place put paid to the race we planned earlier, and fortunately the Clare crew have the chance to come again for the Valentine´s Wellie Race. 

But I must say, it is all very vague and mysterious there; all we know is that an Aeroflot plane travelling from Cuba to Moscow will do a quick landing and pick them up behind the local G.A.A. pitch.  – They just have to bring a package to Switzerland for someone called Mr. or Mrs. Credit Suisse or some odd funny sounding foreign name like that, more than that I don´t know.  But sur´ I don´t care as long as the Clare contingent don´t forget their wellies – and the music for the Siege of Ennis. 

Yes, in deference to us having a Valentine´s wellie race, we plan to do a turn of `the Siege…` in our wellies of course, just as the sun goes down behind the Alps on the Valentine´s Wellie Race. -  Who says you can´t be romantic and wear wellies too! 

That´s it for now Chubby, 

I hope you all have fun at the Last Supper.

R. C.  

P.S.  A technical questions for the Steering and Regulatory Committee of  World Wide Wellieracing, aka WWW, head quartered at Powley Vale: 

The above mentioned Guido, proud owner of a herd of very happy cows whose milk goes into making the world famous Appenzeller Cheese  – which makes them a very exculsive bunch of cows let me tell you! 

Anyways, Guido wants to know: if he can manage to get pair or wellies on one or two of the cows could they run the wellie race too?  He figures what with the world wide attention the race will attract, it could be a great plug for Appenzeller Cheese.  Are there any rules about cows running in the race to promote a product for profit?

 (Between yourself and myself I suggested to him he send a nice thick brown paper bag to you in Powley Vale, and then they ´re would be no problem at all with cows or anything else running.  But sur´God help us, he had´t a clue; he wondered what you would want with a big brown paper bag, and as he did n´t have paper bags, he wanted to know if he could send you a few plastic bags instead!)  

                                           ---------------------------------------

Two questions from blog readers:

1) Where and I find out more info. on the Castlecomer Wellie Race?   See link:

 http://www.wellierace.com/

2) What are Taytos?  

The best chips in the whole world.  Made in Ireland and a great story to boot.  See link  https://www.taytocrisps.ie/

Are your new year´s resolutions beginning to teeter off the wagon a bit? - Try working backwards!

If your new year´s resolutions are doing wonderfully and you are still fully on track with all you resolved to do one whole week into the new year.  Great. Good work and read no further.

If you are teetering off the wagon however, consider working backwards.  That is to say, don´t worry too much about your resolutions for this new year, rather think backwards, looking back on the big picture of your life as lived.  Are you living your best life?

Oprah, Dr. Phil and myself are big into encouraging people to ´live their best lives´as Oprah so succinctly puts it - grant it Oprah and Dr. Phil have a tad more success at reaching the masses than I.

But, I will not be swayed from my task; Hausfrau Róisín is here at the start of 2014 to advise  Irish Stew for the Soul blog readers how to get back on that wagon -  to go out there and live the life they want to live.

Yes, I KNOW there are all sorts of reasons one can give for staying in a life situation you don´t like.  If none of them are around ´putting food on the table for my children´, then the reasons are NOT good enough for not going out there and living the life you want to live.  Even ´putting food on the table for the kids´ is not a deal breaker.
To find out the best way to live the life you want.  AND to find what it is you want to do in said life in the first place you can:

a) Watch a lot of re-runs of the Oprah Show or Dr. Phil´s shows

 -  not a bad option, but could be time consuming.

 b) Spend a fortune on self help books and tapes,

- not a great option, time consuming and expensive.

c) Become an expert in the major world religions and see what they have to say about living life.

- while a noble option, not ideal seeing as it would take more than one life time to really learn what the major religions of the world have to say on the subject. (Hindus have the advantage on the rest of us here what with reincarnation and all.)

The best way, to discover how to live the life you want, according to moi is: simply…

 d) Go back to Bed! - Definitely the best option. 

No, I am not telling you to go to bed to mope and feast on Smarties and drown one´s  sorrow´s in Barry´s tea.  (Full disclosure: One admit´s to having been known to resorting to this practice occasionally through out life -  but NEVER for more than 3 days.  Honest!)

Nor am I saying to go back to bed for a little private or shared hankie pankie.  - Nothing wrong with either I hasten to add, but another time please.

No, simply lie in bed and imagine ....... you are about to die.  

Ah ah caught you there did n´t I!  

 Once you have gotten over the discomfort of the idea that you are about to die, just lie there imagining you are on your death bed and let your thoughts flow and see what observations come up.  

 Review the life you have lived. What are you proud of in your life? What would you change?  What are your regrets?  What other questions and considerations pop up?

 And most importantly, for most of you reading this, (even moi admits reading this blog is not the most vital thing to be doing on death´s door); most, if not all of you dear readers are not going to die today. You have another chance …
SO GET UP OUT OF THAT BED AND START MAKING THE CHANGES - NOW.
Right now.  Get up and start to put yourself on track for living the life you want to live,  with no (further) regrets to be regretted when you  really are going to die. 

I know a lot of people are going to feel weird or creepy when pondering their own death.  Well work on that too.  It will come you know!   

It may take a couple of attempts to get your head around contemplating the whole ´dead´thing.  But if you really want to have a different way of living your life, it is worth the effort to ponder your death. 
This is real folks.  As far as we know we only live once, again the Hindus have an advantage.  But the rest of us really should not be waiting around to make those changes. 

To support my case further I am copying a piece here from a book by Bronnie Ware The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.* The English Guardian newspaper wrote an article based on the main theme of the book.  -  See the article and link at end of this blog posting.

So. Back to my first idea about your new year´s resolutions.. 

If you are having trouble sticking to your new year´s resolution, ask yourself:

`On my death bed would this new year´s resolution be at all relevant?´

If not, why the heck are you bothering?

If the resolution would be relevant on your death bed, then why can´t you stick to it?   You, gentle reader, have the rest of your life to answer.

Well after all that I think I need a good strong cup of Barrys tea - and whatever you´re having yourself!
                                 ------------------------------------------

*Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last weeks of their lives ... she put her observations into a book called   The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ms. Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

This piece was originally printed in the Guardian:

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying