.... A life searching for purpose - not found. Sob Sob Blog Posting Part III. Yes, I KNOW I am going on a bit... but its my blog. And my story! So my choice....
But do not dread - This installment has the heading.....
No
job with passion, but life starts to looking up!
I
LOVED America. I had told everyone in Ireland
I had a job as a nanny lined up for six months. In truth that job
fell through about
four days before I arrived in the US. All I had was a bed with an
acquaintance for three nights.
But
from the moment I decided to go to the US. I was determined to be
positive. And it worked. Wonderfully.
Though
the Irish network I got a three month stint living-in caring for a
wonderful lady who broke both her arms; she was my Jewish Mama until
the day she died two years ago. (Every one in the world should find
themselves a Jewish Mama - the love is so unconditional!!)
The
savings set me up to stay in a hostel and look for part-time work. I
found a position as a receptionist in a computer programming firm
over the Easter weekend of
1987. (-
As an undocumented
you ask surprised! Nobody
asked, I was white, English
was my mother tongue and
everyone loved my ´cute´
Irish accent. I opine,
that
my being female
with
the
cute accent helped
too.
The
job was a breeze; all these
gentle
computer nerds
could not communicate outside of computer speak, but I could talk to
everyone. They loved it, the clients loved it. And I loved it.
While I cannot say the job
was one of passion for me, it was
tra
la tra la all the way. That
was until six months later; Monday October 19th,
1987 to be precise. Black Monday when the world stock markets
plunged.
Things
changed. Far less money, far more was expected of me. I was making
mistakes. - I don´t
work well under pressure. I
decided to hand in my notice before I made a mistake I could not get
sorted out before it was discovered.
But now in the spring of
1988,
being undocumented was an
issue, I knew I would not find another job, I would simply return to
Ireland.
A
big break; in early summer
1988,
two weeks before I
had
finish working out my notice
in the computer company, I got the
letter. The one
telling me I had won a US.
Government lottery for a
green card. Oh joy. Oh joy. Oh
joy! It was beautiful. A
lawyer said that I should
give up work immediately,
but don´t leave the U.S.
until I
was called with an
appointment for an interview at the US. Embassy in Ireland. Perfect.
The
money I had saved to return to Ireland I used to join a four week
tour cycling from
Seattle to San Francisco… Wow I
was having fun. And only
a
month earlier my prospects looked
SO much bleaker!
The
week in late August 1988
that I returned from my
cycling adventure I got the
appointment for the US. Embassy in Ireland for January 1989.
Great. I sublet my room in my apartment in
New York, I headed to
Ireland – and then for fun headed to England to work. I stayed
with a former co-tenant in New York, and
got a temp job working for six weeks in the consumer rights
department of Her Majesty´s Civil Service.
(A
total aside: That six weeks were
great fun. My job was
sending out brochures about consumer rights to people buying cars.
It was truly a fun time. My
two fellow envelope stuffers were
most interesting characters; one
Blondel a Jamaican had a daughter who was the nanny for the
children of a very famous film star in the U.S.
The other man was a professional actor – on a quite period as they
say. He was well known too, my brother knew his name immediately as a
character in the long running Dr. Who TV. programme. They both had
stories to share!
At
weekends I visited all the wonderful museums and art galleries in
London. I packed a lot of new experiences and fun into that six
weeks stint.)
Home
to Ireland for Christmas the interview in the U.S. Embassy in January
and back to the U.S.
with the coveted Green card in February 1989.
...And
Up..
Economic
times in the U.S. were still hard after Black
Monday in 1987. So getting a
nice happy receptionist job in 1989,
was not going to happen. Again through the Irish networks I got
various jobs
in tele-sales, house cleaning and at-home
elder care.
Two
apartment moves later, thanks to my new
roommate, Liz, I
was offered a ´great little number´. Caring, nights,
for a lady,
in her own
home. She lived on Washington Square Park in N.Y.C. She was a sweet
gentle soul, who loved
MacGyver!
While not a job that was for me one of passion, it gave me time to
´get settled into life´. I enjoyed working in the center of N.Y.C.
I
loved having my bagel and egg sandwich in Washington
Square Park at
10.00 am. knowing my day´s
work was finished.
I
had time and energy to apply to go to college. A liberal arts ass.
degree in a local community college.
A
poignant occurrence there: Even with 1,500 students in the college,
after three months they picked up on me – because of how I answered
questions on my application form. They opined I may have ´learning
difficulties´ They suggested they test me. The were right. I was
shocked, saddened and delighted all at once.
Delighted:
Because
now I understood I did not excel at studies not because I was lazy.
Being lazy in our family was such
a no no. - I had
been given the message as a
child, that if I had only
worked a little harder, and ´applied myself´I would have done fine
with exams. But now I understood that
was not the case.
Shocked:
How was it missed at school, when
this college after three months and
with 1,500 students picked
up on me? They
opined at the college, that
my English language skills were very strong, additionally I was very
out-going. So I did not fit ´the picture´of someone with learning
difficulties. In addition to that,
because I worked VERY VERY hard, I had dragged myself up from an
average F. grade up to a D. grade so
that I was not red-flagged.
Saddened:
More than anything, I was sad. Very very sad. Depressed even, for
some three hard days. Was I the only child in the whole world who
would have done better in
life had I not worked so
hard at school!
That did depress me. So
much. To think if I had just worked ´normal´ I would have been
red-flagged and I may have
got the supports I would
have needed to succeed.
Those
three days were
to a tipping point in my life: Either I could cop out and blame the
world that at 37 I now knew I had a learning difficulty that
prevented me from excelling academically. I
knew already I was not strong enough to take on a trade, and not calm
and cool enough in an emergency to be a police officer or work in
radio, or other career considerations I had had over the years. At
37 I realized I had no ´bankable´talents.
So
I could either sink in the hole of that misery and self pity. Or I
could just get on with it. I chose the latter.
Not
for any noble reasons; sure, the former might have been an easier
option, but it would have been no fun! So boring!
The
testers in La Guardia
Community College said, I
could achieve a lot academically, only focus on subjects I liked.
AND TO TAKE MY TIME. I needed time to absorb what I needed to learn.
And like wise I needed more time to do exams, which was arranged
for me. They
were right.
I
did my four year degree – in 11 years! And I got straight A´s
the whole way. If school was horrible college was SUPER! I even
won scholarships and what not! My years in La Guardia Community
College were I did my Ass.
Degree and John Jay College
where I did a degree in
Criminal Deviation, were
some of the happiest years of my life to
date.
Career
hopes were gone, but life was looking better and better.
I
was head hunted. To be a
house keeper. A joke I thought… I do not enjoy cleaning houses.
And certainly not full time. How soul destroying it
would be. I turned down the
position. A very wise and usually gentle nun I knew was furious with
me; she said ´no
matter what – if one is ever offered an interview on a silver
platter ATTEND THE INTERVIEW. Even if it is to say thank
you but no thank
you.´
I
attended the interview. The interviewer seemed to be very
interested in me even though
I told her I was not a good housekeeper. I said thank
you but no thank you.
She asked me to consider the position for the rest of the week.
Politely I said I would.
I
did not have to. The adult children of the lady I was caring for
advised me that night they had made other plans for their mother. I
was given three days notice.
Very
casually I called the interviewer for
the housekeeing job and
explained: `OK.
So somebody
wants to hire me as a housekeeper, even though you all know I am no
good at housekeeping; if
that is clear and understood, I will give it a try.´ So
I ended up accepting the
housekeeping
job that
I had initially rejected - work
which I had
no interest in doing. Out
of desperation. And it was
just great! -
It
was the Best Non-Career Career move of my life!
And
I regret to inform you Nancy, I cannot tell you a thing about it; I
signed a confidentiality agreement, which I respect to this this day.
Suffice it to say; the employers were looking for a person who
cleaned floors and bathrooms and who did other ´housekeeperly´
duties. But the employers wanted in addition, a housekeeper who was
honest, discreet, a good communicator, sociable – but not too
sociable, who spoke well on the phone and could take and give
messages accurately, competent at arranging flowers and the dinning
table for formal parties, manage a wine, art and furnishings
inventory, do basic computer maintenance. And so on.
And
there was a lot of waiting around; for plumbers, for deliveries for
what ever. I just loved that, all that waiting around to do ´my
stuff´ - and getting paid for it! Another plus, the owners were in
town more often than expected; more people were needed to keep the
apartment up to the standard that was expected. And my co-workers
were EXCELLENT housekeepers, none of whom cared to sit around
waiting. So in the end I got ´all the talking to people and waiting
around jobs´and they did the real work of housekeeping. A true win
win for everyone!
(Another
fun aside: Our superiors were very happy with the state of affairs,
for which I was given all credit. I would readily tell said persons,
that it was not I but the women working with me, who did all that
great work. My superiours did not believe me and assumed I was just
trying to share the glory so to speak. More brownie points for me,
which I loved. For my co-workers who were much more mature in mind
than me brownie points were not important. They were getting paid and
that was all they cared about! A win win once again for me and my
brownie point collection!)
….And
it got better!
True
the job did not fill me with passion, it was not my life´s calling
to wake up each day to count wines, clean bathrooms and wait for air
conditioner mechanics. But it was fun a lot of the time – and it
was certainly diverse. And I had great co-workers. So life and
times were indeed going well.
And
it did not stop there: The pay and benefits were good – my tax
accountant once told me: If all employees had such work benefits,
socialism would never have had to be invented. The pension
fund started to grow.
In
addition having built up a good financial history and having a steady
income, I was eligible to apply some six years later to buy a very
nice apartment in a new city government sponsored program Citylights
– This was the re-development of the Queens dockland area. This
had been a desolate and formerly dangerous area, just one subway
stop from Manhattan midtown. And that I did on the advice of the
aforementioned tax accountant. A great move for life and for my
financial standing.
Time
to leave the U.S.
This
happy work situation lasted 16 years. For a few reasons it was time
to leave for Europe. Not least of which was: without millions
(emphases on the ´s´ here!), being old in New York would not be fun
in any circumstances, but especially not having family there. It was
time to return to Europe. That I did in 2008 age 53. Now with a
German Romeo in tow!
Hausfrau
Rósín.
A life searching for purpose - not found. Part III.
November 30th 2020 Day 61 of living the dream
